Lex's Journal Pages

I was fifteen, eligible to marry in three months. I was being courted by a young man named Markus. He was handsome and kind, a friend of my brother's. I wouldn't say I had a grand connection to him, but I was content to marry him if he asked. One day, I came home to see a fine warhorse outside my home. I could hear shouting, and when my name was mentioned, I hid by a window to listen. My parents had received a proposal from the lord of our land to take me as his mistress. His wife had recently passed away, and I had heard of him taking mistresses before. While it wasn't the marriage I'd always dreamed of, it was an opportunity few girls would get. I expected my parents to accept, but they did not. I didn't ask them about it, but sat confused as I watched the messenger ride away. A few days later, I was washing clothes in the stream nearby, when the High Lord himself approached me. He was respectful, very much a gentleman. He flattered me. I remember blushing, smiling; feeling, for the first time, a heat rise in my body. He made me feel like a grown woman. I see now how manipulative he was, tugging on the emotions of an impressionable young girl. I was too inexperienced to understand what was happening. I stopped seeing Markus, stopped spending time with my best friends. My brother worried about me. I told him I was fine. I thought I was. I tried to be in predictable places so that I could see the high lord. It wasn't long before I let him kiss me. How sweet it felt, though it sickens me now. When my sixteenth birthday came, I was ready to be with him. He asked me to come live at his palace, I told him I would send him my answer the next day. I went home and told my parents I wanted to accept. They were terrified. They finally explained to me why they'd refused in the first place. He is dangerous, they said. He gets a thrill from hurting others. His mistresses receive the worst of it... I can't write more, it makes me ill to think of it. I couldn't reconcile the man they spoke of with the man who had lured me in. Soon, however, they convinced me. We sent my refusal the next morning. I didn't see him all that day, and went to sleep thinking he'd forgotten about me and moved on. How wrong I was. I woke in the night to my mothers screams. She shouted for me to run, to get away. Then her voice cut off. Ravin shoved my bow and quiver into my hands and told me to leave through the window. I tried, but a man entered before I could get out. "My master summons you," he said. Ravin tried to fight him, but the man grabbed me. My cheek was scratched in the chaos, but the most vivid memory I have is of snatching an arrow from the quiver I held and slamming the point into the man's eye.